I want what He wants!

When we pray for something, we have that confidence that God hears us and will surely answer our pleas. If one does not have that, why would one pray in the first place?

A great professor of mine once told our class, "God has only three ways to answer our prayers." He then picked up a chalk and scribbled three words on the board: Yes, No, and Wait. I haven't realized it before, but he was right. And I haven't fully understood the latter two answers until God actually answered me with those.

Planting our faith firmly on our Savior, Jesus Christ, we all conclude our prayers with 'in Jesus' name, amen!', 'through Christ, Your Son, Our Lord, amen!', and the like. We do this because we know that no one comes to the Father except through Him (John 14:6, 1 Timothy 2:5). And with the strong sense of favor that we have from Him, in our hearts and in mind, we are confident that God would answer us positively. And yet, if God does that, would He still be God at all? If you're own plans and longings shall be granted to you each time you'd ask, everyone will be out of control and ask God everything as if He's a vending machine--you put some bill on it (prayers) and you expect to have in return the exact thing that you chose (answers). But God does not work that way! According to 1 John 5:14,

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us."

We are encouraged to present all our requests to God by praying (Philippians 4:6), but we must not forget that His plans are better than ours. Actually, they are the best of the best! And our human intellect will never, ever come up with the brilliant ideas that God has in store for us on our own; not even close! With this in mind, we should not feel bitter about 'unanswered prayers'. Actually, no such thing exists! It's that that we may be ignoring His answers because we're too busy waiting for what we want.

I haven't been able to update this blog, and with all the things that has happened to me in between my last post and this, I can say that God truly wanted me to embrace and accept this as a fact: I am not gonna get everything that I want because He's already planned out when will He give me everything that I need that are immensely beyond what I asked for.

My thanksgiving :)

So many things can happen within a day--let alone, a whole year! As we are now down to the last hours of 2012, I've looked back to the days of this year and how it all turned out. I reminisced through my personal blog what I've gone and been through, all the things that I witnessed and experienced, and most of all, what I learned and gained.

Early this year, I experienced such a life-changing moment: meeting Him. True, I grew up knowing Him, but I never truly gave it a thought of who He really is. A friend invited me and a couple of other people to a youth service (to which he's been inviting us for so long) and I could now say that that was a stepping stone for me. Since that night, my hunger and thirst for Him has gone to their extremes--I was kind of addicted and excited about the whole thing! Good thing there are lots of people who helped me as I searched my way through. The more I knew about Him--His life, His works and His wisdom--the more I fell in love with Him. I've never felt so blessed (and honestly, I actually never knew the real meaning of being 'truly blessed' in the past) before! It's like my whole world literally was shaken by Him--in an aweeeesome way--so I could see Him, face Him and know Him.

I've learned so many truths and I do not intend to stop learning. I'm actually still being surprised and is deeply in awe whenever I learn a new thing about Him! Now that I have a relationship with Him, all I wanna do is serve Him. I want other people to know Him and be amazed, too! When you've experienced Him working in your life, you can only pray that may every people experience and feel His greatness as you have. I know He's got a plan for everyone, and all will be done according to His schedule--His own perfect timing. Just as I was tapped by Him that night on the 27th of January, I know every people will have that moment, too. He's preparing us for that. Our whole lives will come to that.

I've received so many blessings this year, may it be spiritual or material things. But I don't find the same bliss and contentedness with the material ones as I do with the spiritual ones. Having known Him, I can now only account for the abundance of my spiritual gain. It's not that I enjoy material gifts anymore; I still do! Specially if they have something to do to help me with my spiritual growth.

But above all of these things that God has graced me with, I am most thankful, grateful and in awe of having received my salvation and having started my walk with Him. These truly are the highlights of my year--my life. It'll be--and will always be--the greatest gift I've ever had!

Thank You, God, for showing me these things!

Thank You, Jesus, for being my Savior, Lord and best friend! And for bringing me closer to Him.

For loving me, for forgiving me, and for accepting me.

I am now Your daughter. A princess in Your eyes.

And I shall only please my one and only Father. :)

Thank You - Katinas

Here's a lovely song to which I feel listening to right now. :]

My inadequacies and His sufficiency.

The other day I started on reading The Purpose Driven Life. I've already started on that book, so long ago that I don't even know when it was. All I know is that I stopped because I didn't feel that urge to continue on it. I haven't met God yet at that time.

But it all made sense to me to read that book the other night. I actually tried to read it that exact night on my bed, but due to my excessive crying (for so long), my eyes were so stressed out that I didn't even know I fell asleep that instant. And so, as I woke up the next day, I read it. I can still remember some fragments of it from my premature reading in the past, but I know that God will reveal more to me now that I'm reading this book in a new perspective. Not only that I'm a new creation in Him, but also as I gained more knowledge about Him, my thirst and hunger for more wisdom to acquire also expanded enormously. It's like I wanna read all the books--classics and contemporary--that may and will help me deepen my wisdom so I can share more with other people.

What I fail to realize somehow (funny that I am acknowledging such thoughts right now) is that I won't learn or gain more wisdom by just merely reading. May it be from the Bible or from any other books done by God's blessings on His servants here on Earth. I can only gain it if I'd live it. And as far as I can get, I do and I wanna do more.

Lately, I've encountered huge problems with my family that it made me actually ask God to take my life away--if He wills it. I know that's not a good thing, but after calming my self and talking to Him and meditating, now that I look back at it, I know and still firmly believe that nothing is ever worth giving up my life with except for Christ. If it's not for pursuing Him, then it's not worth giving my life to. And I know this for a fact because He let me know it. And I'll always thank Him for that knowledge and security He's graced me with.

That was so immature of me to ask of of God, and I know that He knows that. Sometimes, great waves of emotions and other turmoils blinds us. I don't want that. And I asked for His forgiveness about my lack of faith and strength during those times. I was so vulnerable to making sins and irrational things on that moment. But that's when God's greatness may shine more into us. As it is said in Philippians 4:13,

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

It is from Him where I get my strength. He is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge (Psalms 18:2). And so, I am not afraid to admit my weaknesses and show it to Him. I lay it all to Him. And I know that He'll help me with it and guide, aid and carry me. My inadequacies will be filled by His sufficiency.

And though I've cried before all of this, I smile for that. :]

:( count: 3

:) count: 6

#1

I'm home alone.

I'm on a short vacation break right now from school. My mom's away for an errand, my dad's working and my sibling's away for some internship. Literally, as of the moment, I'm home alone. Except for our pet dog, of course. The weather's cold and grey... it makes me gloomy.

But I'm smiling because of two things: one is because I have started this blog with my time alone. I prefer to write and let myself out by these pouring words whenever I'm alone. I find peace in it and I am at ease, knowing that no one in here would be able to even catch just a glimpse of my entries. It's kind of personal to me, you know.

Second is because I know that my family's coming home to me any minute now. Not every child have this security and confidence. I have a few friends whose families are broken, and their parents or siblings not being home is sort of common or just natural for them. I am thankful for my beautiful family, and how we manages to stick together through thick and thin. I am thankful that I know where they are and that they are safe. I am thankful knowing that at the end of the day, we'll all be under the same roof, warmed with love and cozy being with each other.

We're not a perfect family. I believe that nobody has that. But being whole and safe, I'm contented with that.

And I smile for that.

:( count: 1

:) count: 2