Discipleship 2013

* This is a late post regarding last month's event in VCF. * 

What wisdom do you have if you do not share it? And what wisdom do you boast if it is not from you?

Last month (February 9), I was privileged to attend the annual leadership conference of the Victory Christian Fellowship. Helping two beautiful young women now with their first steps in their walk with God through One2One, I am now considered a leader. But what is a leader, really?

Out of the various denotation of the word leader that I've searched, I love these two the most:

First, a leader is a guide. Being a leader already implies that you are able to pull other people to a certain goal or vision. But do all leaders really guide?

Imagine yourself in a car drive--your leader is the driver and you (a follower) is his passenger. The driver have in mind a specific place to arrive at and he's already shared that to you (that's why you came with him). Now, if the driver only steered and kept the engine running without explaining the route that you're taking or introducing the facades that you're passing through, chances are, you will arrive at your destination as if they've been blindfolded during their trip; you are no different from the person that hopped on to the ride. You were unchanged from point A to point B.

Taking up the responsibility of bringing people from one point to another doesn't only mean that you'll get them there; you must also ensure that you get them there prepared and well. You ain't just a driver--you'd be a tour guide.

Secondly, a leader conducts. He is the prime mover of the group. In our case, God is our ultimate leader (Revelation 17:14), and everyone that He called on to lead are His workers who are envisioned to follow Christ's example and teachings. Faith without action is dead (James 2:26), and so, leading with just words are futile. If God truly is the Director of our lives, you--as a leader--ain't just a storyteller or a narrator, but is an actor of God's will in His play. If your disciples aren't seeing any desirable acts and example done by you, how and why would they follow you, and ultimately, God? This case would be worse if you're teaching them something then acting out the exact opposite of your message--that's hypocrisy. You're performing before people, but that does not please God. That will just blow your credibility and your own spiritual growth.

Also, I finally realized my ultimate goal as a leader: raising a better leader than what I already am. Then, our services for Him will go on and on and on...

Overall, this leaders' convention taught me many things, and I got to share my thoughts, too. This is what I love about being a leader--I don't have to stand alone! I've got God--the ultimate source of Wisdom--and I've got these amazing people--the other leaders--with me to guide and counsel me all through out. Being a leader doesn't mean that you've got to raise your disciples on your own. It is actually an effort of the whole church in itself, just as what was proven in Discipleship 2013; we're all in this together!

And I smile for that.

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Love and Loss

Last month, I got to listen to this sweet, beautiful phone conversation between an innocent child and a radio personality. It's been years since stories about it have surfaced the media, but it is my first time hearing about it. I thought I'd share it to others and internalize its message more.

Logan's story was touching and such an eye-opener. Many believers fail to remind themselves of what they need to look at everyday in every aspect of their lives: the Cross. The ultimate sacrifice and gift of God for us. Sure, every Christian and believer has heard of it, but for me, hearing this story and its purpose again and again, it never fails to stir up a sense of awe inside me--like I'm listening to the sweetest love story of all time. The greatest love story of my life, and it happened long ago even though I'm not yet here on earth. This phone conversation reminded me of two powerful emotions or feeling: love and loss.

God's loving nature is displayed on the smallest details of every single thing in our lives. God has put us in situations that may seem unfathomable to us, but our faith in Him and His deliverance will get us through anything. In addition to that, He will generously let His light shine in these moments so we could see the wisdom and greatness behind His every move.

Losing someone--specially a dear one--is one of the most painful things a person may experience. It's that bond and relationship that we have with the person (or even an animal, say, a pet) that makes us uneasy to let go. Once we love another, we would never want to lose such connection. God has provided us the gift of experiencing these wonderful connections and relationships under His embrace. But then again, nothing's permanent in this world.

I believe, God has also undergone these painful sense of loss. First is when we, His children and creations, were separated from Him through our sins, and second, is when He let His child Jesus Christ die on the cross. But He planned all of it--and it was for all of us! He has one purpose: He formulated this one big substitution in order for us--the sinners--to be able to connect with Him again. He chose to sacrifice Christ to save everyone from an eternal separation from Him--hell. He let One die and pay for our own wrongdoings! But He did that because despite our shortcomings, He felt sad that we were separated from Him. Not angry! Or annoyed! He was sad. And He wants us to have an access to Him again--to be close to Him again. He didn't want to lose anyone; not a single life. He didn't mind sending His only son to suffer in our place. He didn't even think twice to do it! He wants us all to live in His kingdom and dwell in it with Him. He wants us to prosper in spirit and grow up in preparation to entering His holy palace. Hell wasn't made for us. It is in heaven where He plans us to live with Him for all eternity.

I pray that God will give me that kind of heart. A heart that will see through the pain of every loss and to focus on what this pain can gain and will teach me. A heart that will not fear to experience pain for the greater good. A heart that will not think twice in the pursuit of glorifying His name. God, work on my heart day and night and bless me to have a true servant's heart.

I thank God for that great act of grace and love for us. I thank God for enduring the pain of separation, and giving us the ultimate solution for it: Jesus Christ. I thank God for the salvation He's offering everyone, so that no one will ever lose anyone again--for I believe that we will all be together in heaven, forever, with Him. I thank God for just about everything!

And I smile for that.

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School days: Living Righteous

We all know that we must hate the sin, not the sinner. That means that we should care for the sinner, love the sinner. After all, we all are sinners. We are commanded to love one another (John 13:34).

But here's the thing: we claim our righteousness from Jesus and in Him alone, right? We are cleansed and our past sins have been wiped out of our records because of His great sacrifice and substitution. We are enjoying His righteousness--not our own!--that has been placed upon us because He accepted and literally owned all our sins and died for us. So now that we're righteous in our Father's eyes, how are we to react to our fellow sinners who haven't accepted Christ in their lives (or maybe, they already have) but continuous to sin?

Loving the sinner doesn't mean that we should overlook their wrong-doings. We shouldn't just shrug our shoulders and tell them, "That's alright. I still love you!' That's not love! Our God is a loving God. He's actually love Himself! (1 John 4:8) But even His greatness and overflowing love for us did not blind Him. He did not put His hands on His eyes to cover it from seeing how filthy we are; He actually used those hands to pull us out of that dark place called sin. He did not--does not and will not--overlook anything. He is just! (2 Thessalonians 1:6, 8) Yes, He forgave and saved us, and that came with a price. And it was a heavy one! He actually needed to sacrifice His own precious Son for us!

Having that in mind, loving the sinner doesn't equate to tolerating them. If we don't do anything about it, we're as good as supporting them. You might say 'Hey, I ain't supporting any sinner to do more sin!', but when you think about it, saying nothing is a muted 'go ahead' for them. If we truly care for them, a respectful but firm intervention is what we should give. Intervening doesn't mean that we should confront or correct them upfront. I believe that only God could correct them. It is our duty to be an example of how Christ lived and that we must let other people see that in us. Words has lesser impact than action does. If we'd talk to them but they themselves do not see anything good in us, we're being hypocrites and our righteousness is not genuine. We're actually setting a dangerous example for them.

Standing up for what God calls righteous is not easy. We may face bashing and even gain some enemies. But then again, we can never have an enemy if we won't treat them as such. They may treat you badly and mock you, but know that God is on your side and you're doing His will! (1 Peter 2:15) If we have truly given up your life to God, then must live as His son lived! It's our goal to be Christ-like in all our ways. Jesus Christ was the very sample God wants us to follow--and it's not an optional thing! We either live like Him or not truly live at all.

Personally, I'm encountering some struggles at present time about this issue. Other people see living righteously as living weird. But that shouldn't discourage us from pursuing a holy life. People nowadays are more comfortable on doing the wrong than the right. It's easier for them to sin than to stand up for what God says is right! We shouldn't let other's standards be our standards. He's the only One we should please--and pleasing Him does not require that we please and conform with the ways of this world! (Romans 12:2)

Fix your eyes on Jesus! He is our standard, not anyone else!

And though I may have cried about this, I now smile for He supplied me with the strength and courage to go through anything!

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My inadequacies and His sufficiency.

The other day I started on reading The Purpose Driven Life. I've already started on that book, so long ago that I don't even know when it was. All I know is that I stopped because I didn't feel that urge to continue on it. I haven't met God yet at that time.

But it all made sense to me to read that book the other night. I actually tried to read it that exact night on my bed, but due to my excessive crying (for so long), my eyes were so stressed out that I didn't even know I fell asleep that instant. And so, as I woke up the next day, I read it. I can still remember some fragments of it from my premature reading in the past, but I know that God will reveal more to me now that I'm reading this book in a new perspective. Not only that I'm a new creation in Him, but also as I gained more knowledge about Him, my thirst and hunger for more wisdom to acquire also expanded enormously. It's like I wanna read all the books--classics and contemporary--that may and will help me deepen my wisdom so I can share more with other people.

What I fail to realize somehow (funny that I am acknowledging such thoughts right now) is that I won't learn or gain more wisdom by just merely reading. May it be from the Bible or from any other books done by God's blessings on His servants here on Earth. I can only gain it if I'd live it. And as far as I can get, I do and I wanna do more.

Lately, I've encountered huge problems with my family that it made me actually ask God to take my life away--if He wills it. I know that's not a good thing, but after calming my self and talking to Him and meditating, now that I look back at it, I know and still firmly believe that nothing is ever worth giving up my life with except for Christ. If it's not for pursuing Him, then it's not worth giving my life to. And I know this for a fact because He let me know it. And I'll always thank Him for that knowledge and security He's graced me with.

That was so immature of me to ask of of God, and I know that He knows that. Sometimes, great waves of emotions and other turmoils blinds us. I don't want that. And I asked for His forgiveness about my lack of faith and strength during those times. I was so vulnerable to making sins and irrational things on that moment. But that's when God's greatness may shine more into us. As it is said in Philippians 4:13,

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

It is from Him where I get my strength. He is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge (Psalms 18:2). And so, I am not afraid to admit my weaknesses and show it to Him. I lay it all to Him. And I know that He'll help me with it and guide, aid and carry me. My inadequacies will be filled by His sufficiency.

And though I've cried before all of this, I smile for that. :]

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#2

I've got my last sem's grades a couple of days ago. They weren't my best. Actually, they're the worst that I've got since I entered college. I couldn't say that I did not expect this--I was actually anticipating for them to be much worse. I slacked off last semester. My mind did not and could not take any more of my courses mainly because... I don't love 'em.

I'd really like to be an educator. Or a writer. But I am now studying a pre-med program (Pharmacy). Well actually, Medicine's been my childhood dream. But ever since I fell in love with teaching way back in my high school days, I just couldn't get it off my mind on why am I doing and learning these things instead of pursuing my dream?

Well, here comes my frown: I'm disappointed at myself.  I haven't lived up to my own set of goals when I started that semester. I was determined to get my scholarship back (which can be obtained in our school depending on your GWA on the previous semester) since I was fueled because I got accepted in a school organization/program that I've been praying for to be in.

But as I contemplated on myself, it wasn't so bad at all. Firstly, I passed all of my courses/subjects. Not everyone in my class did. Actually, I feel blessed and humbled that though I have not done my best (I can say that in all honesty, but I am not--in any way--proud of it), God didn't let me fail. It's like Him saying, "Come on, child. I've seen you do better. I've created you to be better!" I may not understand why am I on this program, but I don't need to understand. I need to trust Him. And as bad as it is, my display of lack of confidence with my studies and my frustrations about not getting into the program that I wanted for myself is an outrageous display of my mistrust in Him. But He is so faithful that my inadequacies are filled by His sufficiency. I don't deserve any of it, and yet He never failed me (literally and figuratively), ever! So how come I fail Him all the time? But, no. Oh, NO! Not anymore!

I am gonna make Him proud. I wanna please Him. It's the very message of my rants: I gotta share Him and live for Him. And I will.

Secondly, with all of these revelations and wisdom that God has blessed me to read, listen and learn about (more of that on my next posts or so), I am always in awe of His greatness. It's like I'll never stop falling in love for Him! And I like--uh, scratch that--LOVE this feeling! There's always something new to discover, a new person to meet or read about and be amazed and inspired by their works for His name, sights to enjoy, moments to capture, and more work to do for Him! There's just so many things that I'm pretty sure that there's no language that can encompass His whole greatness and all the things that He blesses me with! Knowing Him changed my perspective a whole lot. Actually, I believe that He has given me a new set of eyes--I just sometimes couldn't believe that all my life, I have missed these things that are new for me (but are actually already laid in front of everyone since the beginning of time). That I'm seeing and learning just now. I've never seen or experienced anything like it before I started my walk with Him. And I know He has planned it all along for me.

Then again, the greatest step that I ever took in my entire life was the one that started my walk with Him. It always will be.

And I smile for that.

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Whenever I'm hungry, I read and write.

One prominent character of mine that's been no secret to all is that I'm a wide reader. I attribute my love for writing and storytelling from that passion of mine. At this age, I've grown to love books, authors, novels and characters. I'm a bibliophile. I aspire to be a writer. I wanna read more and more.

Most of the books that I've read are contemporary novels. I get sucked up by a book that once that I'm reading (even if I'm at school) I'd probably shut out everyone around me. I mean, I might not even notice a fire going on inside the room that I'm in unless someone will snatch the book that I'm reading and yell at my face. Well, I haven't gone that far, but my friends tell me that it's possible if it's me.

But since I've started my walk with Him earlier this year, my hunger for wisdom and knowledge about His word deepened. Before I ventured into this walk, I was already curious and been a seeker about it. But after experiencing Him, it was different. Yes, He filled that deep, dark longing within me... but He also gave me this light and joyous hunger for Him. It's not the kind of hunger that'll put you off on a bad mood just because you don't know where to find the food to shut it. And since I know now where to turn to whenever I need my bread, I'm happy whenever I feel this hunger. And I am more blissful whenever I quench it.

Even before starting this blog, I've talked about my spiritual growth and experiences on my personal blog. I'm also reading a lot of blogs related to these. At present, I'm investing more of my 'book money' on inspirational, devotional and spiritual books. I'm thankful to have access on these resources of wisdom that strengthens my faith and boosts my knowledge in Him. With every stories or posts or books that I read (even aside from the Bible), I always feel like a child in awe of You. It's just so amazing. He's just so amazing!

And that's why I wanna share Him. Not just to my friends and to wherever my voice could reach! I wanna share Him wherever AND whenever! READ READ AND READ then WRITE WRITE AND WRITE ABOUT HIM AND FOR HIM~ I wanna invest more of my time and energy in knowing Him more not only through the Bible, but also from other people who are generous and courageous enough to share their stories to all!

And I smile for that.

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#1

I'm home alone.

I'm on a short vacation break right now from school. My mom's away for an errand, my dad's working and my sibling's away for some internship. Literally, as of the moment, I'm home alone. Except for our pet dog, of course. The weather's cold and grey... it makes me gloomy.

But I'm smiling because of two things: one is because I have started this blog with my time alone. I prefer to write and let myself out by these pouring words whenever I'm alone. I find peace in it and I am at ease, knowing that no one in here would be able to even catch just a glimpse of my entries. It's kind of personal to me, you know.

Second is because I know that my family's coming home to me any minute now. Not every child have this security and confidence. I have a few friends whose families are broken, and their parents or siblings not being home is sort of common or just natural for them. I am thankful for my beautiful family, and how we manages to stick together through thick and thin. I am thankful that I know where they are and that they are safe. I am thankful knowing that at the end of the day, we'll all be under the same roof, warmed with love and cozy being with each other.

We're not a perfect family. I believe that nobody has that. But being whole and safe, I'm contented with that.

And I smile for that.

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